Blankies and Objects of Attachment

For instance, a trip to the grocery store without Frog becomes a battle. When pink blankie needs to be washed, a tantrum ensues because why isn't pink blankie dry yet. So, it is best to set some ground rules for objects of attachment. In my own house, blankies are not allowed to travel, unless it is overnight. We never leave the house with blankie. I tell the kids to give blankies a hug and a kiss, and that they will see them when they get home. Other ways to deal with it are to say that Frog can ride in the car, but we don't take Frog into the store with us. If a fight ensues, then explain that you don't want Frog to get lost. Believe me, the fight will stop.

For those of you that have kids with special blankies and objects, then you know that they do wear out, become rags and rip apart. So, it is always smart to have some back ups. Remember, kids are smarter than you think, and they will know if you try to sneak the new one in to replace the old. Be up front and let them know that you have a new friend for them. Frog said it was ok. He is tired and is going to the pond to retire on a lily pad.

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Your child is growing up, entering Kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade...having sleepovers. It is time to get rid of the blankie or object of attachment. This can be traumatic for you child. Some children will give it up without a problem, while others may miss it so much that they can't sleep at night and can become very irritable and have melt downs at the slightest mishap in their lives. So, I am going to give you some tips on how to wean your child from the blankie or the object.

1. Time it right. Don't take away the object just before school starts, because this is an added stress for your child.
2. Give reasons for the break up. When your child asks Why, give them a reason. For instance, "You're going to big girl school now, so maybe it's time leave pink blankie at home." Eventually it will become less painful for your child if they tuck the object of their affection into bed, or put it in a safe place where they know it will be when they get home.
3. Take baby steps. First start with leaving the Blankie at home, then in the bed, then eventually the blankie is gone. Set up a prize chart. So, with every step that they take, they will receive a gold star on the chart and some kind of small present, like a stuffed animal.
4. Offer a substitute. Make it something meaningful, like a family picture, or a locket. These things will help your child to feel connected to home when they are feeling stressed and are out of the house. Another alternative is to cut up the favorite blankie and just to allow your child to carry the small square around. I am doing this with my daughter, and every month, it is getting smaller and smaller. It is working very well.
5. Treat the matter lightly. Don't punish or embarrass your child for clinging to a blankie or a stuffed animal. If you do that, then the likelihood of your child clinging even tighter to that object is fairly good.
6. Expect regression. When a stressful time hits, don't be surprised if your child snuggles up to a beloved toy again for comfort. When the crisis has passed, she'll be more open to letting go again, and you can restart the weaning process.

Blankies and comfort objects are a part of child development, and should not looked on as a major issue. It is annoying when you are searching high and low for the frog that your son left somewhere, and he is yelling because he can't find it, but it is a stage that passes. It is a common part of growing up, and one day you may look back on the blankie days when your teen is asking for the car with wistfulness!

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