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The Decision to Divorce is one of the tougher decisions you make as a married couple.
Whether or not you have separated, the decision to divorce is an agonizing one. Should you get divorced? Up to now they have only been thoughts and words, with no immediate consequences. Now that you realize the time to decide has come, you have to contemplate action. The focus on action clarifies the situation, but also makes it seem more difficult and scary. Before you make the decision to divorce you should contemplate where they might lead. Divorce is a painful, difficult choice. In most cases you are ending a long relationship. You are considering cutting the cord with someone who was the most important person in your life. 
When making the decision to divorce, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making this decision which leads to further indecision and frustration. When making a serious decision to divorce, having an open mind and listing the things that will figure into your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler for you.
Not being ready to decide about whether to get a divorce because of emotional uncertainty will be a serious obstacle if you let your emotions cloud your ability to reason or use logic. If you aren't ready to handle the emotional pain of what could be a "life changing" event like deciding about divorce, wait until you are ready before going through your divorce decision making process. Too often people make the mistake of wanting to get a divorce for invalid reasons. It is not easy to separate being hurt and focusing on one's self rather than the actual events from the end results. Yes, it is very tough to elevate your thinking to your own situation...in fact, it is often impossible to do. But, if you can look at your situation with someone else in your place, and then go through your decision to divorce process, you'll be closer to the real answer that you want. The fear of losing finances or material things is not gender specific by any means...men and women alike need to decide if they are ready to go through financial loss to improve their lives if they feel a divorce will do so. Logic will lead you to the fact that finances shouldn't be the only piece of your decision to get a divorce, even though it usually figures in...as to what level finances figure into your divorce decision, will depend on you and what you deem important. When making your decision about staying married or getting divorced, you should look to the future and decide whether your decision will improve or decrease your quality of life and the quality of life of those that will be affected. The number one reason given by people who want to get divorced but don't go through with it, stems from the fear that others will suffer from the divorce. Be very careful when assessing this situation...make sure that you use logic and not emotion when evaluating your thoughts. 
Whether the problem is mental, spiritual, or a combination of factors, divorce is a step you should examine carefully. You may want to go to couple's counseling before making the final decision to divorce. Offer to go with your spouse to see a therapist. Put it in positive terms, and make it a wholehearted offer. If you don't think of it this way, counseling will have little chance of having any value. Your spouse may say no, but you will have tried.I know from my own experience that your road ahead is long, frustrating, and probably ugly. Making the decision to divorce is a serious and difficult task because it is complex, deeply self-reflective, and frightening due to the length of time it can affect you and others. Make sure that you have your thoughts organized and prioritized and you take your time in making a decision. Click here to return to Divorce Copyright© 2007 My Parenting Portal ABOUT US - PRIVACY POLICY - DISCLAIMER - CONTACT US
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