Peer pressure may be a normal part of teenage life, but, at times, the effects of peer pressure on a teenager may seem anything but normal. Peer pressure can affect a variety of aspects of a teens life, from hairstyles to clothing choices to musical tastes. And sometimes peer pressure has a decidedly positive effect, keeping a teen participating in after-school clubs, attending religious activities or playing on sports teams.
At its best, peer pressure can mobilize your teens energy, motivate for success, and encourage your teen to conform to healthy behavior. Peers can act as positive role models and demonstrate appropriate social behaviors. Peers often listen, accept, and understand the frustrations, challenges, and concerns associated with being a teenager.
But peer relationships can also have a negative impact, leading a teen to defy authority and engage in harmful behavior. Many parents are shocked, when they take the time to look at the effect of peer pressure on their son or daughter, to learn their teen is already heading down a dangerous path.
A powerful negative peer influence can motivate a teen to make choices and engage in behavior that his or her values might otherwise reject. Some teens will risk being grounded, losing their parents' trust, or even facing jail time, just to try and fit in or feel like they have a group of friends they can identify with and who accept them. Sometimes, teens will change the way they dress, their friends, give up their values and create new ones.
Here is a great video that highlights all the different kinds of peer pressure your teen can experience.
While most parents want to encourage relationships that are bringing positive results, the difficult question is what you can do if your teenager is already yielding to negative peer pressure?
Be interested. Don't just ask the common "who, what, where?" questions. Encourage your teen to share more about his or her life with you. Show a real interest in what is being shared. Respect and accept what he or she is thinking, even if you hold an opposing point of view. It may take time to feel that you're reaching your teen, but persistence is the key to making positive changes.
Confront problems. If your child spends time with friends involved in unacceptable activities, confront the issue directly. Express your concerns, but also try to understand your teens need for being with such people.
Set boundaries. If some of your teens friends truly worry you, rather than prohibiting all contact with them, restrict time with them to supervised settings.
Set rules. Limits and rules are an essential part of the safety and development of your teen. No segment of society can properly function without clearly defined rules. Families must have a set of rules based on personal values that create a positive environment.
Handle the conflicts. Even with a clear set of rules, conflicts can and will occur. But even conflicts can serve as a means to form a stronger relationship with your teen. Consistently resolving small issues and creating preventive rules is the best way to prevent larger and more devastating issues from developing. Insisting that homework be completed, chores accomplished and curfews obeyed are small but important ways to strengthen a positive family relationship. When you and your teen can work together and feel in control when setting rules, boundaries and limits, a teenager learns decision-making and develops a better sense of responsibility.
Take a proactive approach. Help him or her become more aware of negative situations and how to make better decisions when forming relationships.One way to do this is to help your teenager evaluate each friendship. Get your teen to answer some basic questions about whether the friendship is reciprocal, safe, one that will help meet your teens needs, and one that will help your teen be a better person. The answers to these questions are a good indication of the types of peers surrounding your teenager - and they can help your teen decide which friendships should be kept.
Have a positive relationship with your teen. When parent-teen interactions are characterized by warmth, kindness, consistency, respect, and love, the relationship will flourish, as will the teens self-esteem, mental health, spirituality, and social skills.
Encourage independent thought and expression. In this way, teens can develop a healthy sense of self and an enhanced ability to resist peer pressure.
As a parent you may not be comfortable about your son or daughters choice of peer groups. This may be because of their behavior or because of some more serious risk. This can be a difficult time for all involved and there are no easy solutions, especially if your teen is determined to stay with the group. Here are some tips on how to know if your teen is involved with a negative peer group:
Spending long hours on the telephone, even though they have just seen each other all day at school.
Spending long periods on the Internet behind ‘closed doors’ and out in the open as they used to.
Doing things that are outside your house rules. They may: smoke, use drugs, swear, play loud horrible music, eat from the fridge or biscuit/cake tin, apply pressure to us parents for alcohol, watch banned movies or xxx rated movies, want to have sexual relations in our homes and mess up our homes and leave.
There are some things you can do to help. It is important to remember that your teen is often sensitive about their choice of friends. If you criticize their friends, you are almost certain to lose some of your influence. Rather than put them off the friends it may have the opposite effect. Criticizing their choice of friends is like attacking teenagers personally. Here are some suggestions:
Always keep the communication open, be willing to listen and find out why those friends are important to your teen.
If you think that your concerns are serious try and talk to your teen about the behavior not the friends. Remember to talk and if things begin to get heated then maybe it would be best to walk away and try again later.
Always encourage your teen to trust their own sense of what is right. Discuss with you teen different ways of saying “No”.
Talk with your teen about the consequences of bad behavior that may worrying you. Look at both the immediate consequences and how this will affect your teens future. Let your teen know about your concerns and talk to your teen about how they will cope if they are pressured to make risky choices.
Attempt to encourage opportunities for you teen to mix with other young people, but don’t pressure your teen if they are not interested.
Attempt to support your teens self-esteem by talking with them about the exciting and promising possibilities for the future.
Be on the lookout, as sometimes a teen that seems an unsuitable friend wants to be friends with your child possibly because your home feels safe and secure. You may be able to offer friendship and support, however if you are really uncomfortable about the teens behavior you need to talk to your teen about it. You are not likely to be able to break up the friendship if it is strong and this is something you need to be prepared for. Show your teen that you trust them. If your teen breaks your trust ask your teen to suggest ways to earn it again.
Get to know the friends of your teen. Learn their names, invite them into your home so you can talk and listen to them, and introduce yourself to their parents.
Do not attack your child's friends. Remember that criticizing your teens choice of friends is like a personal attack.
Encourage reflective thinking by helping your teen think about his or her actions in advance and discussing immediate and long-term consequences of risky behavior.
No matter what kind of peer influence your teen faces, he or she must learn how to balance the value of going along with the crowd against the importance of making principle-based decisions. And you must ensure that your teen knows that he or she is loved and valued as an individual at home. As parents, remember that peer pressure can be positive. Although peers have the potential to encourage problem behavior, more times than not, peers reinforce positive values and provide a supportive environment necessary for your child to move through this difficult stage of adolescence. Your goal is to help your teen identify peers who provide real friendship and benefits.
Always remember that your teen is learning and that it is okay to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect and if you make a mistake be prepared to admit it and move on. If you feel you are not coping or a more serious matter is occurring and you are unsure of what to do not hesitate in seeking the advice of a professional.
While most parents want to encourage relationships that are bringing positive results, the difficult question is what you can do if your teenager is already yielding to negative peer pressure? 
There are some things you can do to help. It is important to remember that your teen is often sensitive about their choice of friends. If you criticize their friends, you are almost certain to lose some of your influence. Rather than put them off the friends it may have the opposite effect. Criticizing their choice of friends is like attacking teenagers personally. Here are some suggestions:
