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Single Parent Myth...Fact or Fiction?


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Single parents and their children often have to face stigma, single parent myths, stereotypes, half-truths and prejudices. Sometimes, the taunts can be subtle and leave subconscious effects. The best approach is to confront them and understand what is true and what is not.

Myth: Since culturally, traditional nuclear families are the norm and predominant, single parenting is an aberration and single parents are often left lonely and isolated.

Fact: Recently, single parent families have shown a sharp rise. In U.S. alone, about 59 percent of American children have lived in a single-parent home at least once during their minor years and over 16 million children currently live in single-parent homes. They are often 'bi-nuclear' families, where despite divorces and re-marriages, both the parents are actively involved in parenting and offer their children two separate homes.

Myth: Children from single-parent families have emotional and behavioral problems and do poorly in school.

Fact: These conclusions are completely false and are generally ignored. Children of single parents can be as healthy and emotionally secure as those from traditional families.

Myth: Single-parent families mean 'broken homes'.

Fact: Parents who chose divorce or not marrying as a way of their life does not necessarily mean that they are trying to make a broken home work. Many times, it turns out to be the healthiest choice to give children a peaceful and stable home environment. Positive outcomes in single-parent families are not uncommon and single parents are often more independent and better at multi-tasking, and their children actually learn to handle greater responsibility.

The outcome of single parent families actually depends on social network and support to the family and good communication within the family. Children of divorce can be as healthy and well-settled as other kids while they even enjoy greater stability and happiness in their marriages, as they are more adjusting and concentrate more on keeping their families intact and happy.

Myth: Being brought up in single-parent families is detrimental to children's self-esteem.

Fact: Children's self-esteem is linked mostly to the income level of the family. Since single-parent families only have single income coming in, children's self-esteem tend to be lower, similar to children of low-income two-parent homes. Parents can teach resilience and self-esteem skills to their children by being a model to them, boosting their self-respect and helping them realize that their possessions do not determine what they are.

Myth: Families need to be self-sufficient, while single parent families aren't.

Fact: The emphasis on self-sufficiency often produces unnecessary shame and guilt in parents who are emotionally and financially challenged, including the single parents. One has to learn to be interdependent, give and receive; taking our own responsibilities and asking for support and engaging even professional help, when needed.

Parents should not become too dependent on children for social and psychological support but rather join support group for single parents as their social outlet and fun and source for emotional and child care support. Families should also engage in volunteering within the community so that they learn the balance between nurturing and being nurtured and each family member may become more mature and independent.


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