Teens often lack the confidence to communicate their feelings.

Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works
is a tried and true method to help you parent your teen. This book will help you through all your communication issues you have with your teen. Stop the miscommunication before it starts with this very helpful guide!

Your teen has a growing need for privacy. They may find their thoughts and feelings confusing, so it's hardly surprising they want to keep things to themselves. They are sorting things out in their own mind, not rejecting you. Don't be upset if your teenager sometimes acts as though you're the most embarrassing person on the planet - this is very common and doesn't mean they don't love you.

• Take your cue from your teenager - there's absolutely no point saying you want to talk, when he's rushing to get ready for a night out
• Try to spend time alone with your teenager and go out somewhere if there aren't any opportunities at home.
• Share information about what's going on in your life, but only for as long as your teen seems interested
• Use open questions that don't just need a yes or no response. For example, "How did the music lesson go?" rather than "Did you have a good day?"
• Don't use a chat as an excuse to nag or tell off
• Never put him down for his views or ideas, he needs your approval
• Treat your teenager with respect, much as you would another adult
• It's better to negotiate a solution than enforce your demands, so don't say "I want your room cleaned up tonight," but "I'm getting really upset at the state of your room. When do you think you can tidy it up?"
• No matter how well-intentioned your advice, your teenager's probably not going to be keen to take it, so what's important is paying careful attention and giving him a chance to talk
• Use all the opportunities you can to communicate - for example, driving somewhere often leads to great conversations
• Show you're genuinely interested when your teenager tells you things and stop what you're doing to listen
• Don't overreact or fly off the handle if you don't like what you hear
• Don't score points - like all of us, teenagers don't like being put down
• Don't try to impose your ideas - he'll inevitably reject what you have to offer
• Don't make snap judgments - listen to your teen before you jump to conclusions

Here are some great Listening Tips...

Be attentive. Give your full attention to whatever is being said - that means stopping whatever activity you are involved in. Focus fully, using your eyes as well as your ears. Sometimes you can learn a lot by watching your teen's body language. Be sensitive to voice tone and expression. Ask yourself what your teen is trying to tell you.

Encourage talk. When you make eye contact, smile or nod, and use one-word responses, it indicates understanding, if not agreement. Keep your questions brief, open, and positive. Try to avoid“why” questions. Sometimes repeating an important idea that has been expressed can draw out the teen to discuss it further.

Empathize. Try to remember what it was like when you were a teen. It takes imagination and patience to identify with your teenage child, but it can help if you put yourself in the other's shoes. Demonstrating this empathy helps you better understand actions and reactions. Focus on underlying feelings that your teen may find difficult to express.

Listen with respect. React to your teenager as you would to an adult friend. Sometimes adults tend to do most of the talking when they try to talk with young people. So, be aware of that, and after speaking for half a minute or so, stop and let your teen have a chance. Spend as much time listening as you do talking. Accept the fact that teens are complainers. Let them vent their grievances. Try not to interrupt or push a topic they don't want to discuss.



Listening helps build closeness and can release built-up emotions. It is a communication tool that can help strengthen the ability to make decisions and solve problems. By treating your teenagers with respect and the willingness to listen, you’ll not only make communicating with them easier, you’ll set an important example for them to follow when communicating with others.

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