Teen Dating is a normal part of growing up.
Is your teenager dating? Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works
 is a tried and true method to help you parent your teen.
Learning the ropes of relationships is a big deal. Combine that with teen hormones, and it's easy to see why teen relationships can become so consuming. So what do you do when you see your teen involved in a relationship that is becoming too intense? Teens need to learn many things while traveling through the life stage of adolescence. When your teen begins to show an interest in dating, you’ll want to iron out how you feel about it. Besides the ‘my daughter isn’t dating until she is thirty’ thoughts that will run through your head, there should be some serious thoughts about how you would like to see this dating thing work out. Not that it will work out according to that plan, but a road map is always good to follow when facing uncharted territory. After you’ve done this – and taken a deep breath - you’re ready to talk to your teen about dating.
Help your teen learn about dating by knowing these truths:It is normal for a teen to be interested in dating.
While some teens tend to be interested in dating earlier than others, it is a normal adolescent life stage experience for all teenagers. Girls are more vocal about the dating interest and tend to be interested to a greater degree at a younger age, but boys are paying attention also. There is no way around it; your teenager is going to want to date. When he/she does, you’ll have to step up to the plate with some parenting skills. Teenagers do not know how to date.
A teen hasn't learned the ins and outs of a give and take relationship yet. They will be learning this as they date. You can reinforce the values that concern dating and relationships by discussing them with your teenager and modeling them with your spouse or significant other. Do not be afraid to bring up these issues. Do not feel that they are not important. Teens that are taught values are important will look for dates with similar good values. Teens whose parents talk to them about dating are better prepared and happier.
While the topic of teens and dating can make the most confident parent nervous, you should do your best not to project those anxious feelings when discussing dating - and the rules and limits of dating - with your teen. Relax and have informative dating conversations that will strengthen your relationship with your teen and empower you both to enjoy this part of their life. Your teen will need privacy.
As parents, we are not very comfortable not knowing what is going on in our child’s life. But as your teen starts to date, you will need to take a step back and not try to know ‘everything’. You may at first have a hard time and feel like something is wrong. That is normal – your parenting role is changing. Change always feels awkward at first. On the other hand, your teenager may want to chat about the experience. He/she may have some questions to ask. If so, make yourself available. But remember to try not to ‘read into’ any of the questions and begin prying. Your teen will still need you to be ‘around’.
Teens are notorious for getting themselves into situations that they have a hard time getting out of by themselves. Many times this happens on dates. Therefore, let your teenager know you are available for a ride home. You will pick him/her up at anyplace or anytime, even three o’clock in the morning. You will do so without any consequences to your teenager with the understanding that everyone makes mistakes in judgment. You simply want your teen to be safe. Arguments, drinking, etc can all be a part of a bad dating experience. So, hope for the best, prepare for the worst and be there for your teen.
When talking to your teen about dating, be sure to mention the difference between sex and dating. Dating is a time when two people are getting to know each other. Too many times teens think it's a hall pass to the other person's body. Your teenager's date may say things like, 'Well, if you don't want to have sex, why are we dating?' It is important to role play out situations like this so your teen can be prepared to answer like this: 'We're dating because I like you and I want to spend some time with you. If you want to have sex, then you are dating the wrong person.' Confidence comes with practice, so be sure to talk with your teen and role-play!
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